“Proper planning and preparation prevents poor performance” ― Stephen Keague, The Little Red Handbook of Public Speaking and Presenting

Non-Verbal Communication



Non-Verbal Communication and Paralanguage


Non-verbal communication includes facial expressions, the tone and pitch of the voice, gestures and the distance between the communicators.


Types of Non-Verbal Communication

There are many different types of non-verbal communication such as 

  • body movements (kinesics) gestures, nodding or shaking the head, 
  • posture, i.e. the way a person stands, whether a person’s arms are crossed, etc., 
  • eye contact, 
  • aspects of the voice (apart from speech) such as speed of speaking, tone, pitch or melody,
  • closeness or personal space (proxemics), 
  • facial expressions or mimics (frowning, smiling, etc.).
  • physiological changes, such as sweating or blinking when nervous.

Eye Contact

The eyes are the window to the soul, therefore, eye contact is an important aspect of non-verbal communication. In interpersonal interaction, it serves three main purposes:

1. To give and receive feedback. Looking at a speaker means that the listener is focusing on the content and is interested in the topic. When the listener does not maintain eye contact with the speaker it can indicate that he or she is not interested in the topic or listener’s ideas.

2. To let a partner know when it is their 'turn' to speak
This is related to point one. Eye contact is more likely to be continuous when someone is listening, rather than speaking.

When a person has finished what they have to say, they will look directly at the other person and this gives a signal that the arena is open. If someone does not want to be interrupted, eye contact may be avoided.

3. To communicate something about a relationship between people
When you dislike someone, you tend to avoid eye contact and your pupil size is often reduced. On the other hand, the maintenance of positive eye contact signals interest or attraction in another person.

Enlargement of the pupils is an involuntary reaction to the sight of someone attractive, so increased eye contact could be a biological mechanism to help make that dilation signal clearer to a potential partner.


Paralanguage

Voice Signals 

About 70% of what we communicate when talking directly with others is through paralanguage. 

Paralanguage relates to all aspects of the voice which are not strictly part of the verbal message, including the tone and pitch of the voice, the speed and volume at which a message is delivered, and pauses and hesitations between words.

These signals can serve to indicate feelings about what is being said.

Emphasizing particular words, or the use of particular tones of voice can imply whether or not feedback is required. For example, in English, and other non-tonal languages, a rising tone at the end of the sentence can indicate a question.

One of the reasons why it is particularly hard for speakers of atonal languages such as English to learn tonal languages, for example, Mandarin, is because much of the expression and non-verbal communication in English is by tone. In tonal languages, however, the tone changes the word, not just the non-verbal sense, and therefore cannot be used to convey other meaning.

Anyone who has ever tried to give a presentation or speak in public when nervous will be aware of some of the effects on voice of certain emotions and feelings. Nervous people often speak faster.

Unlike some aspects of non-verbal communication, in particular facial expression, it is entirely possible to learn to control these aspects of speech. The first step is to develop an awareness of them in yourself, and this is an important part of overcoming presentation nerves.

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Kinesics

The most noticeable form of paralanguage is body language or kinesics. This is the language of gestures, expressions, and postures. In North America, for instance, we commonly use our arms and hands to say good-bye, point, count, express excitement, beckon, warn away, threaten, insult etc.  In fact, we learn many subtle variations of each of these gestures and use them situationally.  We use our head to say yes or no, to smile, frown or wink.  Our head and shoulder in combination may shrug to indicate that we do not know something.

While the meaning of some gestures, such as a smile, may be the same throughout the world, the meaning of others may be completely different.  For example, spitting on another person is a sign of utmost contempt in Europe and North America but can be an affectionate blessing if done in a certain way among the Masai of Kenya.


Tone and Character of Voice

The meaning of speech can also be altered significantly by tone and character of voice.  In English, the simple sentence "I'm here." can have very different connotations depending on whether it is spoken with a voice that is high, low, quick, slow, rising, falling, whispering, whining, yelling, or sighing.   Similarly, the sentence "Are you here?" has a different meaning if it spoken in a rising tone in contrast to a descending one.  


Proxemics

The study of personal space and closeness is called proxemics.

Every culture has different levels of physical closeness appropriate to different types of relationship, and individuals learn these distances from the society in which they grew up.
When we speak, the distance our bodies are physically apart also communicates a message. Proxemics is the study of such interaction distances and other culturally defined uses of space.  Most of us are unaware of the importance of space in communication until we are confronted with someone who uses it differently. For example, we all have a sense of what is a comfortable interaction distance to a person with whom we are speaking.  If that person gets closer than the distance at which we are comfortable, we usually automatically back up to reestablish our comfort zone.  Similarly, if we feel that we are too far away from the person we are talking to, we are likely to close the distance between us.  If two speakers have different comfortable interaction distances, a ballet of shifting positions usually occurs until one of the individuals is backed into a corner and feels threatened by what may be perceived as hostile or sexual overtures.  As a result, the verbal message may not be listened to or understood as it was intended.

In today's multicultural society, it is important to consider the range of non-verbal codes as expressed in different ethnic groups. When someone violates an ‘appropriate’ distance, people may feel uncomfortable or defensive. Their actions may well be open to misinterpretation.

In Western society, four distances have been defined according to the relationship between the people involved.

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Here are the 4 basic categories of proxemics:

  1. Intimate Distance (touching to 45cm)
  2. Personal Distance (45cm to 1.2m)
  3. Social Distance (1.2m to 3.6m)
  4. Public Distance (3.7m to 4.5m)

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These four distances are associated with the four main types of relationship - intimate, personal, social and public.

Each of the distances is divided into two, giving a close phase and a far phase, making eight divisions in all. It is worth noting that these distances are considered the norm in Western society.

Intimate Distance:
In British society, it tends to be seen as an inappropriate distance for public behavior and entering the intimate space of another person with whom you do not have a close relationship can be extremely disturbing.

Personal Distance:
The 'far' phase of personal distance is considered to be the most appropriate for people holding a conversation. At this distance it is easy to see the other person's expressions and eye movements, as well as their overall body language. Handshaking can occur within the bounds of personal distance.

Social Distance:
This is the normal distance for impersonal business, for example working together in the same room or during social gatherings.

Seating is also important; communication is far more likely to be considered as a formal relationship if the interaction is carried out across a desk. In addition, if the seating arrangements are such that one person appears to look down on another, an effect of domination may be created. At a social distance, speech needs to be louder and eye contact remains essential to communication; otherwise feedback will be reduced and the interaction may end.

Public Distance:
Teachers and public speakers address groups at a public distance. At such distances exaggerated non-verbal communication is necessary for communication to be effective. Subtle facial expressions are lost at this distance, so clear hand gestures are often used as a substitute. Larger head movements are also typical of an experienced public speaker who is aware of changes in the way body language is perceived at longer distances.

Public Transport:
Anyone who lives in a busy city, especially a capital city, will be familiar with overcrowded public transport.

In London, for example, the Tube is often so crowded during rush hour that complete strangers may be pressed against each other very intimately.

One interesting phenomenon about rush-hour travel in London is that almost nobody speaks, or even acknowledges the existence of anyone else with eye contact or other non-verbal cues - except very occasionally to ask them to move further into the carriage.

We might speculate that this could be because acknowledgment of strangers within one’s intimate space is very uncomfortable, and most people, therefore, prefer to ignore it.

Understanding these distances allows us to approach others in non-threatening and appropriate ways. People can begin to understand how others feel about them, how they view the relationship and, if appropriate, adjust their behavior accordingly.


Cultural Use of Space

Culture also tells us how to organize space in such a way as to control the nature of the interaction. In North American corporate offices, for instance, the boss is usually physically isolated in a very separate private room. This tends to minimize his or her personal contact with ordinary workers. In contrast, Japanese offices commonly are set up with the boss's desk at the end of a row of pushed-together desks used by subordinate employees. This maximizes his interaction with them.

See more at http://anthro.palomar.edu/language/language_6.htm#flirting_couple_return


Cultural Use of Time

Culture tells us how to manipulate time in order to communicate different messages.  

In North America, if you have a business meeting scheduled, the time you should arrive largely depends on the power relationship between you and the person who you are meeting.  

People who are lower in status are expected to arrive on-time, if not early. Higher status individuals can expect that others will wait for them if they are late.

For example, most people who have medical appointments are expected to arrive early and to wait patiently for their doctor to see them rather than the other way around. An invitation to a party is an entirely different matter. It is often expected that most guests will arrive "fashionably late."

When people come together with very different cultural expectations about time, there is a potential for misunderstanding, frustration, and hurt feelings.  This could occur, for instance, if a Brazilian businessman does not arrive "on time" for a meeting with a potential North American customer in New York and fails to give an apology when he arrives.  For the Brazilian, time may be relatively "elastic" and the pace-of-life a bit slower.  He believes that he was sufficiently prompt for the scheduled business meeting, having arrived within a half hour of the appointment.  It is not surprising that he is astonished and offended when he is treated coldly by the North American who also feels slighted by what he perceives as rudeness.  Compounding the situation is likely to be differences in their comfortable physical interaction distances.  This dismal scenario can be avoided, of course, by foreknowledge about the other culture and a willingness to adopt a cultural relativity approach.  The old saying "when in Rome do as the Romans do" is still good advice.  

See more at http://anthro.palomar.edu/language/language_6.htm#flirting_couple_return


Communicating with Clothes

Throughout the world, clothing has multiple functions. It is used to provide protection from the elements.   It also is worn for modesty, usually to prevent others from seeing specific parts of one's body.  However, the parts of the body that must be covered vary widely throughout the world. 

Some clothing is worn to provide supernatural protection. Wearing a Christian cross or a St. Christopher medal often is thought to have just this effect.  Wearing a lucky shirt to take an exam means also relying on supernatural assistance.

People in all cultures use clothing and other forms of bodily adornment to communicate status, intentions, and other messages.  In Western culture, people dress differently for business and various recreational activities. Likewise, there are styles of clothes that are worn to attract others. There can be great sensitivity, especially in women's clothing. Women in the Western culture usually are much more knowledgeable of and concerned with subtle nuances in messages communicated by clothes than men. At times, this leads to awkward errors of interpretation of female intentions on the part of men. 

Clothing fashions and styles are also  intended to communicate messages to members of the same gender. In general, long before we are physically near enough to talk to people, their appearance announces their gender, age, economic class, and often even intentions.   We begin to recognize the important cultural clues for this at an early age.  

The vocabulary of dress that we learn includes not only items of clothing but also hair styles, jewelry, makeup, and other body decoration such as tattoos. In most cultures, however, the same style of dress communicates different messages depending on the age, gender, and physical appearance of the individual wearing it. 

See more at http://anthro.palomar.edu/language/language_6.htm#flirting_couple_return

Putting on certain types of clothing can change your behavior and the behavior of others towards you.  This can be the case with a military uniform, doctor's white lab coat, or a clown's costume.  For example, it is likely that the Spanish policemen in the photo are more assertive and aggressive when they wear their uniforms.  Likewise, others are more likely to follow their directions.

Most uniforms are consciously symbolic so that they can rapidly and conclusively communicate status.  For instance, the ribbon, crown, and scepter leave little doubt that the young woman in the photo on the left below is a beauty queen.  The ribbons and other insignias on the U.S. sailor's uniform can tell even a stranger about his status, authority, and military experience.  Similarly, the unconventional hairstyles and clothing of the English "punkers" are essential aspects of their uniforms. In all three cases, it is necessary to know what these culturally defined symbols mean in the context that they are used in order to understand what is being communicated. 

See more at http://anthro.palomar.edu/language/language_6.htm#flirting_couple_return

There are many forms of body decoration other than clothes that are used around the world to send messages. These include body and hair paint, tattoos, branding, perfumes, and even body deformation. 


Gender Differences in Paralanguage

When traveling to other countries, it is important to understand that there are likely to be significant gender differences in paralanguage in addition to distinctions in clothes and adornment. In North America, for example, men generally prefer face to face conversations and maintain direct eye contact longer. In contrast, women often chat standing side by side but closer together than is typical of men. Male handshakes tend to be firmer. North American women usually are more restrained in their use of bold gestures but use more facial expressions (especially smiles) and are more skilled in interpreting them.  In Japan, women most often speak with an artificially high pitch, especially when conversing with men in a business or official setting.

See more at http://anthro.palomar.edu/language/language_6.htm#flirting_couple_return




Body Language for Leaders, Lynda.com

Answer Key:

1. emotions
2. the time of day
3. gesture, speak
4. making eye contact
5. equality and collaboration
6. facing someone directly
7. recall past successes.
8. how you say what you say
9. point toward the door